Everyday Etiquette

This week's Everyday Etiquette question goes beyond the individual: Who are we as adults to decide what is child-friendly?

This question has enormous implications for the Cybils (the Children's and Young Adult Bloggers' Literary Awards). Why? Because 88 adults and 2 teens will be reading hundreds of books in the next four months in an attempt to find the best children's books that are also child-friendly.

So...who put the kid in kid-friendly? Head on over to the Cybils and tell us. Or, answer on your own blog and link back to the Cybils so we can hear what you have to say.

This week in Everyday Etiquette

This week's Everyday Etiquette question concerns the holiday season and gift giving. Here's the issue: I never know what to give my children's teachers.

You think this decision would be easy for me, a child of two teachers. But, my parents always expressed gratitude for everything--from smushed brownies to extravagant gift cards.

I find this decision especially difficult once a child has moved beyond the elementary school stage. When your child has eight teachers, do give each and every one of them a gift? Teaching is hard work, and I always feel like the art or band teacher is forgotten. What can you choose that's affordable, yet meaniful?

Everyday Etiquette: Stop the Music!

This week in Everyday Etiquette concerns an issue I feel passionately about. But, I may be alone here. It's an issue that has turned me into a one-woman boycotting machine: music in stores, cafes and restaurants.

I find this issue particularly troubling when I'm in an urban setting. + If I'm out and about--running errands, picking up dinner and the dry cleaning, grocery shopping--there is music everywhere. Often the music is so loud, you can't focus. (Or, maybe, it's too loud for me to focus. ) I've walked out of so many stores and restaurants in the middle of shopping or eating, because the music is making me insane. I mean, how many times can you hear "You're Beautiful" without going postal?* Honestly, I don't want to live my life to somebody else's soundtrack.

So, dear readers, today's question is: Should you take the time to tell the manager why you're leaving her establishment? Or, should you take your cranky self and walk out the door?
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+With one exception. Smalltown pipes in music downtown during the holidays. Yes, it plays outside. I already heartily dislike the season (Bah humbug!), and the tinny Christmas carols push me over the edge.

*I finally figured out why I love Target so very, very much. Yes, it's clean and visually appealing. But, its most attractive feature? NO MUSIC.

This week in Everyday Etiquette #6

Welcome to this week in Everyday Etiquette. This time I'm looking for a few pithy statements. Here's the scenario:

We all attend meetings. I can't think of a job or a life without its share of meetings--for volunteer organizations, for schools, for companies. We've all been there.

Now we all know that some people seem to enjoy meetings more than others. How do we know this? Well, let's pretend that we're in a meeting concerning paperclip acquisition. The team has something easy to accomplish: we have to decide between coated vs. regular paperclips and choose a company to purchase said paperclips from. Not a life-changing meeting, right? If there are 10 people at the meeting on paperclip acquisition, given the law of meetings, this should take an hour tops. But...you've got a meeting-lover at the meeting. You know the type. He or she will pipe up--just when you're nearly ready with a consensus--and say, "When I was in high school..." or "When I worked for company X..." or "My girlfriend is allergic to..." or "Did you know that a man in Toledo died when a yellow plastic-coated paper clip..."

So, dear readers, what do you say when...

1. You want to stop this story in its tracks, but kindly?
2. You've heard this story at least 100 times and you've had it. You want, in fact, to cause a little offense, but with some humor.

We've all been there. Let's make our lives a little easier today.

Booklist!

This week's Everyday Etiquette question on navigating the waters of Middle School inspired the following comment from Amy:

"Here's what a I want: ten books you'd recommend to a girl in this particular situation. Or to the gossipy girl. This is my first year teaching sixth grade and man, oh man, this must be a UNIVERSAL sixth grade thing!"

First of all, Amy, let me say...congratulations! and, oh wow, sixth grade? and my condolences and you are a brave woman! And, secondly, I'd like this booklist too.

So, we're looking for good books for Middle School girls on dealing with that gossipy girl. Camille of Bookmoot has already thrown out a great suggestion: The Girls by Amy Goldman Koss. What else would you suggest?

This week in Everyday Etiquette: Middle School edition

This week's Everyday Etiquette question takes us back in time. Yes, we're returning to everyday etiquette in Middle School.

Imagine you are a girl in the sixth grade.

Once you're done shuddering, we can continue. Ready?

Okay. There's this girl in the sixth grade who has issues. What she likes to do is break up sets of best friends. Most likely this behavior is subconscious and you, as a sixth grader, realize this girl has a difficult home life and is acting up at school by whispering rumors and "she said"s. Despite all the turmoil, this girl, however, still wants to be friends. To sit together at lunch. To hang out at recess. And, even though you've learned to ignore her "your best friend said this about you" comments, you're annoyed.

Should you just grin and bear it? Should you just be polite? Should you say, "Hey! Enough of the drama!" What would you do?

This week in Everyday Etiquette #4

Welcome to this week in Everyday Etiquette. Today's question is a very simple one concerning life in small communities.* Let's play!

Imagine you're home alone and you live in a small town. Because you live in a small town, any number of people know you're at home. (They know because of your car, or because they ran into your spouse at the store, or because they talked to your co-workers, etc.) The doorbell rings. And rings. You don't know who it is. It could be a neighbor, a friend, a member of a religious group, or someone selling chocolate. You decide to be very quiet and to not answer the door because, well, you just don't feel like it and because you're wearing pyjamas. Is this rude, anti-social behavior?

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* This question never concerned me when I lived in Los Angeles. If the doorbell rang, you just didn't answer it. Ever.

Rocking chair photo from freephoto.com

This Week in Everyday Etiquette #3

It's Wednesday and time for another Everyday Etiquette question.

Today's question is a complicated one as it involves ordinary civility and driving. And, I've got to be honest here. I'm not entirely sure whether my question concerns the rules of the road or the rules of social behavior.

Let's play:

Today we're on an interstate highway much like the one pictured above. There are two lanes traveling East, and two heading West. You're in the right hand lane, having just merged onto the highway. In front of you is a semi truck going 60 miles an hour. The speed limit is 70 and, well, you have someplace to go. In the left hand lane a line of approximately 20 cars speed past you at 80 miles an hour. You put on your signal and wait to merge into the left hand lane.

While waiting to merge, a car pulls in behind you. When the 20-car stream in the left hand lane finally blows past, the car behind you merges into the left, cutting you off and ignoring your signal.

So here's my question: Is this rude or is this an example of the rules (official or otherwise) of the road?

This week in Everyday Etiquette #2

This week's Everyday Etiquette question comes a day early as tomorrow is a big day: the First One Shot World Tour--Best Read with Vegemite edition.

This week's conundrum truly is an everyday situation, one I'm shocked by several times a month. Am I alone? Let's find out!

Say you're shopping in a large store, like Target. You're in line with your basket full of socks, cat litter, and printer paper. In front of you there is only one customer. This customer is on his or her cellphone. The cashier tries to ask questions (like," would you like this lamp in a bag?"), but the customer is too busy discussing a party or a hair appointment. The customer on the cell phone frequently says to the cashier "just a minute" or "excuse me, but I've got to take this call." The customer is holding up the line with this behavior and being rude to the cashier. Cashiers hate this. I know, because I often commiserate with them when the offending customer alights with her basket and cell phone still firmly in place. Should one talk to the cell phone-talking customer? What do you do?

This week in Everyday Etiquette

I've been wanting to start a weekly series on everyday etiquette for ages. This may seem strange on a blog devoted to children's literature, but, if you ask me, children's books and everyday social behavior are connected Here's why: Besides an attention and love for language and form, what a reader learns most from reading is how to inhabit--or come close to inhabiting--the world of an other. When you watch TV or a film, you are merely a voyeur. The situation and story may be interesting, but you are still watching.

Lately, I've noticed that the courtesy I've been used to can't always be guaranteed in a public place. I don't know if this is because I am already an old crank, because we don't have the same standards of behavior we once did, or because we don't read--we don't align with an other--the same way we used to.

One thing I love about blogging is its interactivity and the common courtesy of the kidlitosphere. I know when I pose an everyday etiquette question*, I'll get the truth--good or bad--from you. Let's play:

Suppose you are an average-sized, average-aged woman assigned to a middle seat on an airplane. The flight is approximately 3 hours long and you're on a standard American carrier. To your right is a polite man in his 50s. He uses the armrest next to the window and kindly allows you the armrest next to him without a word. To your left in the aisle seat is a large, ponytailed man in his 20s. Not only does he take your armrest, but his elbow extends into your seat. Moreover, he extends his leg (in shorts and sandals) into your seat area--an area clearly marked by the luggage holder and seat boundaries.

What do you do?
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*I use the term "everyday etiquette" because I am not interested in questions of "white after labor day" or gloves.

Everyday Etiquette will take place on Wednesdays hereafter.